don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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