you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
