you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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