We're facebook friends in real life
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
