I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
