break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He shit in the fireplace
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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