What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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