he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
