i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
