I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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