I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
