You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
