i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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