I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
