me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
