Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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