she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
