I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
