Can Purell be used as lube?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
