I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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