Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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