She just used a chaser for red wine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
