my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
