Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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