real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
