this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
