About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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