forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
