I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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