So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
