so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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