One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
