Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
