I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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