honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
