I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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