Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
