You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
