I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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