everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
