I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
