I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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