There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
