Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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