The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
