nutella sex= disaster
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
