he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
