I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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