...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
