covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
