I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
