Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
